Your equity journey: Three ways to commit yourselfand your organization to change

This was written for Forbes.com

Economic downturns and periods of political and social unrest are not unfamiliar.

Yet, the intensity of the perfect storm in which we find ourselves today feels heavier. What’s clear is that, in this moment, the need for leadership has never felt greater nor the stakes so high.

Unlike an economic downturn where a shift in business strategy or taking steps to implement expense-cutting tactics can provide all the armor a business needs to survive, the journey of racial equity and the pursuit of social justice are entirely distinct responsibilities with very distinct complexities attached. There is no protective armor we can hide behind to shield ourselves from our fragility or discomfort. Instead, every leader is being called to dig deep inside themselves using a very different lens. In doing so, many are experiencing the jagged edge of a personal reckoning, while at the same time finding themselves atop their own unstable footing or falling under the microscope of public scrutiny.

As a business owner, I have stumbled through the twists and turns of my own equity work, both as a leader and a human being, and have felt the gravity and grip of the effort and accountability required of me and my organization. I am not alone. Recently, during a conversation about leadership and racial equity, a CEO client confided that she wished there were a playbook or step-by-step instructions to follow. She clearly wanted to do the right thing.

And so, the journey for you and your organization begins

Many leaders may find themselves on shaky ground as they embrace the challenge of their individual equity journey, while at the same time creating the space for their organization to do the same important work. Recently, during a conversation we were having about leadership and racial equity, a CEO client confided that she wished there were a playbook or step-by-step instructions to follow. She clearly wanted to do the right thing.

There is no playbook on how to simultaneously lead ourselves and our organizations through this transformative time. There are no tips and tricks to expedite an outcome. Perhaps there’s some consolation in knowing that, in this way, we’re all equal. We all share the realization that the work ahead, both personally and organizationally, is critically important and will take enormous effort to create positive social change.

As you lead yourself and your team forward, consider the following thoughts to help frame your thinking and guide your way:

1. Put your own mask on first

Though the urgency many leaders feel is real, it’s important to apply this urgency in the proper sequence. Your equity journey starts with you.

Just like the safety announcement that reminds us to put on our own mask on first before assisting others, we need to make our own soul searching our first priority. This vital first step will most certainly conjure a wide range of emotion, confusion and frustration. You’ll have thoughts and revelations about yourself, your family, your friends and your

team members you may not have experienced before. You’ll reflect on choices you’ve made and words you’ve used over the years. You’ll begin to understand what harm looks and sounds like along with the privilege you’ve taken for granted. All of these things and others will begin to twist around in your head, and you’ll need to begin a process of personal reconciliation. This is your starting point. Skipping over it would be like waking up one morning and deciding to run a marathon without ever having done any endurance training. You won’t get far before realizing you’re not equipped to go the distance and you’ll hit a wall.

2. Accept your discomfort

Comfort is not an entitlement. It’s a preference. Because this is demanding work, only made increasingly so since you’re doing two substantial things at once—working on yourself and your organization at the same time—you should expect discomfort. The presence of discomfort—in yourself and in your organization’s culture—is a good sign you’re doing the right work and you’re pointing toward progress. Along the way, you will notice that, at any given moment, you won’t ever be at the same place as any individual on your team. Everyone is at a different milepost on their own journey—and that’s okay. Many will be ahead of you because they’ve been at it longer. Your team may want to take certain stands on equity that you may not be personally prepared to take. This will feel unsettling. You may find yourself ahead of others. In recognizing this, feel good about your momentum, but remember this isn’t a competition. There is only progress to be earned.

The discomfort you may feel now and along the journey you’re leading is worth what’s on the other side of it. Make it your priority to keep moving forward and take time to reflect on how your thoughts and actions are evolving. This kind of self-reinforcement will be helpful.

3. Give yourself some grace

In doing the hard work of understanding yourself, your blinds spots around racism and the way you lead in context to racial equity, give yourself room to be curious and grow. You’ll need it. You’ll make mistakes. You might repeat those mistakes many times without even knowing it. Keep in mind, mistakes are part of being human and that you make them doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad leader; though, at times, it may feel as though you are. You may be challenged on your ideas and feel self-conscious asking questions you assume you should know the answers to. You may be tempted to react by defending yourself or feeling compelled to explain. You’ll want to close your office door or drop off the Zoom call to take a break from it all. In the words of Berné Brown, lean into it.

Many leaders are misled by their own preoccupation with looking good and being right. If you’re bent toward this sort of mindset, you’ll stumble time and again and undermine your progress and your organization’s progress. This work is inherently messy and it’s certainly not about looking good. It’s about doing your best as a person and a leader to do better and be better one clumsy step at a time.

Self-grace and an abundance of patience, mixed with your commitment to be part of the bigger change this moment is asking of us all, will make the journey ahead worth the justice it creates.